Images: SydSquad.

“It’s a Weird Life.”

…when a Husband and Wife are both Airline Pilots.

A few weeks ago, I had just arrived home from Dallas and the next day saw my wife departing for Los Angeles. With her in her uniform and me in jeans, we shared a traditional final cup of tea before the car arrived to drive her to the airport. As we sat there, Kirrily paused for a moment and uttered, “It’s a weird life we have.” And she was absolutely correct. And yet, we have been living this life for thirty years.

To the outsider, it seems to be an existence resembling ships passing in the night. However, the reality is far more complex and positive.

From the outset of our marriage and respective careers, we agreed that family would remain the priority and one of us would always be home for the children. Through careful co-ordination by Kirrily, this has been possible as we have juggled four youngsters over the last 21 years. Rather than a burden, this has proved beneficial in numerous ways. As a father, I have had 100 per cent parenting time when she has been away and the children have grown up seeing that there are no roles that are defined by gender. I have had to ready my daughters’ hair for school photos and Kirrily has painted entire houses, replaced Gyprock, etc, etc. Beyond our love for one another, our marriage has been a partnership built on teamwork and hopefully a “life lesson” for our kids.

Also, rather than being ships in the night, we have frequently enjoyed significant blocks of days together at home that 9-to-5 employment can rarely provide. We have been able to attend every concert, presentation, work in school canteens, coach kids’ sport and so many other opportunities that other jobs might have prevented. Furthermore, over the years, the kids’ grandparents have permitted us to fly together, either both as crew, or with one as a passenger. Together we have seen much of the world and created memories that cannot be replaced.

However, such a life has been a challenge in other ways. In the early days, before the internet and mobile phones, we agreed to speak each and every day that we were apart. Juggling phone cards and time zones wasn’t always easy and came at a substantial cost. In order to have the seniority within the rostering system, we have bypassed promotion and other career opportunities at times to ensure one parent was always at home. Kirrily in particular has sacrificed so much over the years. These choices have undoubtedly cost a significant amount in earnings over decades but neither of us would swap that money for the wonderful humans into which our children have grown.

As my airline career nears its end, recollections inevitably drift to the front of my mind. While there are numerous great memories from the flight deck, the greatest satisfaction stems from my marriage and family life. I have often said that if your home life is miserable, you won’t be happy flying the Space Shuttle but if life is good at home, flying the circuit in a Cessna 152 can be the greatest job in the world. No balance of work and relationships is simple and ours is just another variation of that.

Three hours after that traditional cup of tea, I watched Kirrily’s aircraft take to the air on the SydSquad live stream from Sydney Airport. Seventeen hours later, I was making a school lunch and loading the washing machine as another live stream showed her Airbus A380 touching down in Los Angeles. Yes, it’s been a weird life but one that I wouldn’t swap for anything.